Defense Against The Dark Arts Lesson One

Taking the dagger off his portrait it allowed Lockhart to fall to his feet. Clearing his throat, he pat his robes the dust falling off. Looking towards Lara, he nodded graciously, "I'm rather fine, ten points to hufflepuff," he exclaimed hiding his embarrassment. Giving the dagger to Malphas Lockhart sighed, "Please do give that back to your housemate," Malphas nodded and took the weapon concealing it in his robe. 

Walking to the front of the class, Gilderoy growled, "This will cost your friend, twenty house points," he warned the class.

Half an hour later, Gilderoy collected the quizzes and sat down at his desk.

"Tut, tut - hardly any of you remembered that my favorite color is lilac. I say so in Year with the Yeti. And a few of you need to read Wanderings with Werewolves more carefully - I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic peoples - though I wouldn't say no to a large bottle of Ogdeds Old Firewhisky!"

He gave them another roguish wink, trying to put what had happened before behind his back.

Ian looked at Mio and David with a clearly incredulous expression. Was that guy being serious? If the classes turned out to be like that the whole time he would just sleep through them the next time, or study for some of his more challenging subjects.


Junis sighed and shook her head. She wasn't even annoyed with her teacher, just slightly bored with the subject he was talking about the whole time ... namely himself.

Smiling at the points she received, as well as the pats on the back her housemates gave her, Lara hadn't expected to receive any. She simply wanted to make sure the professor was alright. Nodding her head in thanks, she returned her attention to her quiz to finish.

30 Minutes Later...

As Professor Lockhart graded their quizzes, Rowan, Gus, and William discussed the actions of her brother quietly. They were slightly more impressed than she was, but the way they spoke about it, it made her smile. When the professor told about his dissappointment at their not being able to answer these seemingly simply questions Gus let out an exaserbated sigh, propping his head in his hand. "Guess we have more reading to tend to, huh?" William said to them both, to which both Rowan and Gus nodded with a grin.

---

Ron rolled his eyes at hearing that their quizzes were less than impressive to Professor Lockhart. Leaning over to whisper to Harry and the others, he said, "If he thinks I'm gonna read any more of his books than I absolutely have to, he's off his rocker..."
---

Hearing some of the answers to the quiz they just took Serena, Lara, and Luna were all slightly disgruntled. Sure they had read, but not the entire collection of his books. At least there was the whole year to get 'caught up' since it seems he expected them to read every one of his books, whether the information they contain will be needed for class or not.

Anette was so bored right now. That class wasn't fun at all in her mind. She wondered when it will get over already. Since talking about professor in front of you wasn't fun at all. The books she haven't read any of them, she could have bought them of course if she only wanted.

Stacy was quite bored to right now. She was sure that she would have done something better than learning about her professor or who ever he was here as. She looked around the class and soon looked back at front. Stacy can't allow to buy these books and she doesn't feel like barrow them from library either, not sure what libraries does have them even.

David sighed, hoping to get a rise out of Lockhart with his test, but apparently he read it without even blinking in shock. "Damn it, I will have to try harder next time." He said in a loud enough voice for the class to hear.

"...but Miss Hermione Granger knew my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair-care potions - good girl! In fact" - he flipped her paper over - "full marks! Where is Miss Hermione Granger?"

Hermione grinned as she raised her hand, blushing nervously. "I'm right here, Professor," she said. She wasn't surprised that she got all of the questions right, but she was surprised that the professor even noticed that she did.

"Excellent!" exclaimed Lockhart. "Quite excellent miss Granger! Ten points for Gryffindor. And so, with that out of the way, to business," He bent down behind his desk and lifted a large, covered cage onto it. "Now - be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind! You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. All I ask is that you remain calm." he plead of the students, and then his hand fell on the cover of the cage, "I have to ask you to not yell, nor shout, nor scream..." Gilderoy said in a low voice, "It may provoke them."

As the class held its breath, Lockhart grinned, before whipping off the cover. "Yes," he said dramatically. "Newly captured Cornish pixies," and with that Adrastos couldn't control himself and let out a huge bark like laugh. "Yes?" the professor beamed at him, "Well, professor, they're not that dangerous, are they?" he choked, which made Gilderoy retort, "Don't be so sure," he told him one of his fingers wiggling towards the boy annoyingly. "They can be devilish tricky little blighters!" 

"Right then," he grinned, "Let's see what you make of them," and with that he opened the cage.

David had to admit, maybe lockhart wasn't a complete fake, he at least brought some sort of creature for them to learn about, but immediately regretted thinking that when he OPENED THE CAGE!. David swore loudly "Bloody Hell!" He roared as he dived out of his chair when a Pixie flew at him. thinking it very un-Gryffindor of him to cower on the ground. He stood up and pulled his wand from his sleeve. He pointed it at a pixie that was about to dive bomb Mio and roared "FLIPENDO!"The spell hit the pixie, and it was shot out for the air, but that would not keep them for long. He then yelled at his professor "Are you Mad?!" He watched as the pixies wrecked havoc across the room. He stood, there, with his wand at the ready, trying to think of a spell he knew that was more effective than the knock back jinx... he could not think of any.

"Damnit!" Mio exclaimed and dived for cover behind his desk, using one of the many books that Lockhart wrote, to hit the pixies away from him. What was that idiot thinking, letting so many free at the same time? Every moron knew that they weren't the most peaceful creatures. "We need to stop them somehow!" he shouted to his friends.


"Here we go..." "Watch out!" "I swear if these things mess up our clothes, I kill them!" Cyn shrieked and Azrael shook his head to concentrate on the spell he was about to cast. When on of the pixies got to close to him, he pointed his wand at the approaching form. "Incendio." he said coldly and watched the creature go up in flames. "I hope that was to your satisfaction?" Over the loud shrieking of the pixies, no one would notice him talking to himself anyway. "Yes yes yes!!! AGAIN!"

"Cornish Pixies?" Rowan muttered under her breath slightly confused as to why of all creatured to be taking a closer look at, he picked them. They were nothing but a nuisance, which was only further confirmed when Professor Lockhart opened up the cage to let them all out. Diving behind the table, Rowan, Gus, and William heard a couple pixies simply hit the tabletop and bounce off. "He's off his rocker, he is," William said as he sent a Flipendo spell towards two that were coming their way. The spell made contact with the pixies, sending them flying back and colliding with the stone wall behind them. Rowan and Gus soon joined him in trying to either get the pixies back in the cage or, more the later, keeping them from completely destroying the place.

---

Serena's eyes grew wide when Professor Lockhart opened the cage, letting all the pixies free to cause whatever mischeif they wished. As one came flying towards her, she grabbed her text book and swung at the creature. Hitting it with a solid thunk, she sent it flying, and readied for the next one that would think to come near her, forgetting about her wand completely.

---

Lara drew her wand as soon as the cage door was opened. Getting to her feet, she fired several charms at the creatures to simply keep them at bay without bringing about much harm. She knew enough to know that these creatures were one of the mischief-makers of their world, and, as they were living things, she didn't want to hurt them if she could. As one landed on her bag, she simply slapped it away hard.

---

"Did he seriously just-" Ron began to say before he was dive-bombed by one of the pixies, making him dive for the floor so he would be braindusted. Getting to his feet, he grabbed his book and put it to good use smacking every pixie that came near him. Seeing one pulling on Harry's robe, he told him, "Hold still!" With that, he swung and knocked the pixie loose, sending it spinning end over end away from them.

---

Luna ducked behind her table for cover when the pixies invaded the classroom. Now and then, she would peer out and fire a spell or two knocking pixies away from her and others around her. "Just like Nargles... Nothing but trouble makers..." she muttered.

Junis smoothly moved out of her seat and sneaked towards the door. She would not stay in this madhouse any longer. This lesson had turned out to be completely useles, she thought frowning and slipped out of the room, waiting next to the door for the chaos to end. What was that man thinking anyway? Shouldn't he know whether he could handle a bunch of pixies or not?


Ian picked up his book and started hitting the creatures away from him and his friends. "Do something, professor!" he called over to Lockhart, annoyance ringing in his voice. That man was really unbelievable. Suddenly, he heard a scream and watch as Neville was picked up by several pixies and pulled up into the air till he was hanging from the ceiling. "Help?" he called down, his voice wavering slightly.

Sydney screamed as Professor Lockhart realeased a bunch of Cornish Pixies. "JACE DO SOMETHING!: She hid underneath the desk. She peeked up and saw Neville hanging from the ceiling. "Neville!!" She crawled out from under the desk and met Ians eyes, "Ian, do something!"

"No Shit Sherlock, but what?!" He yelled as he pointed his wand at another pixie and yelled "Flipendo!" he was still raking his brains for a spell.. could Glacius work? It was a difficult spell for a second year, but David had been practicing at home during the summer, he had to have something to do when trapped in muggle land for 2 months, didn't he? He was not perfect at the spell, but he figured it would be enough to stop some Cornish hellbirds

He pointed his wand at a pixie about to dive bomb Sydney, and roared "GLACIUS". a small block of ice formed around the pixie, and it fell, right on Sydney's head. "You owe me" He growled at her, then turned to his friends "Well, glacius works a little.."

Malphas shrugged as everyone started panicking. Pouncing on top of his table he took his wand and uttered several spells. "Students, I expect the fairies to be back in their cage, good riddance," Lockhart told them all and climbed the stairs back into his office, closing the door shut as all his portraits began hiding as well. As Gilderoy left them, many students shrugged, "Guys, guess this is our cue," Malphas cackled and jogged to the exit. Kain did the same pulling Pansy along, as did Atticus. Ricardo and Adrastos followed, and Raphael did too, but Harry stood behind, "Neville," he shouted as the boy was pulled up into the ceiling. Harry couldn't do much considering he had his hands full with the book swatting the damn things away.

"OW!" Sydney yelled as David made a pixie in a frozen block of ice fall on her head, "Thanks David. My hero." Sydney grumbled and rolled her eyes. She tried the spell that David had used and aimed it at a Pixie going towards Jace, "JACE! Glacius!" The Pixie froze in mid air.

Junis looked up when several other students left the room like her. "The lesson is over, I presume?" she asked sarcastically. There was no sense waiting here if the professor would continue the lesson.

Ian rolled his eyes at Sydney. What was he supposed to do? "Hold on Neville! We get you down as soon as possible!" he called up the the frightened looking Gryffindor. "Please!" Neville whines helplessly and looked pitifully at Harry, Ian and Sydney.

Sydney ran over to Ian and David, "What do we do guys?" She looked up at Neville and skimmed her brain for ideas. "Maybe the levitation spell?" She took out her wand and tried to remember the spell.

Jace ducked out of the way as a frozen pixie fell right where he had been standing, "Thanks sis." He looked up at Neville, "Poor kid. What do we do?"

David gave Sydney a hard stare but said "No, a levitation spell levitates, thus keeping Neville in the air, we need to find out how to get him down." He then said "Maybe a diffindo spell and just hope to hell we catch him" He noticed most of the class had left, but HE was going nowhere.

"I have an idea," Harry spoke almost as if a lighting bulb had appeared above his head, "Make him come down, I can cushion the fall," he told the other remaining students as he put down the book he held and took out his wand, "Ron make sure the darn pixies aren't on top of me," he nodded at his friend before looking up at Neville.

Mio looked around for something that could help them get Neville down, but nothing would be very useful. "Lockhart is joke!" he growled angrily. "I mean seriously? How irresponsible can you get, leaving us along with these things?" With his book he knocked away another pixie, but there were too many to fight off.
He looked up at Neville and pointed his wand at the ground below him, casting "Spongify!" "Okay Neville, you can get down now!"

Seeing that Neville was hanging from the chandelier by the tip of his robe, Harry uttered, "Diffindo," and with that the tip of the robe was sliced off, allowing Neville to fall onto the softened floor, "You're right, anyone know how to stop these things?" Harry beamed around the class.

Mio clapped Harry on the shoulder. "Good aim, mate." he said, grinning and then pulled Neville back to his feet. "I don't really know any spell to catch them..." Mio muttered.

Rowan had had nearly enough off all this pixie nonsense. "Some Professor he is..." she grumbled as she sent another tumbling backwards after hitting it with a knock back spell. Slapping a pixie off her robe, Rowan hopped on top of one of the tables and pointed her wand into the air to cover the greatest area possible. "IMMOBULUS!" she shouted, being sure to focus as much energy as she could to fill the room with her spell. A blinding flash of blue light shot out of her wand in a radiating wave from her wand in the center. As it touched each pixie, they froze completely. "Now.... Let's get them back in that cage...." she said with a sigh, giving her brown hair a toss as she hopped down from the table.

---

Ron clapped a hand on Mio's shoulder and chuckled. "Of course he has good aim! He's a Seeker!" he said before shielding his eyes from the blue blast of light that flashed all around them. "What the blood hell was that?" he asked rubbing his eyes.

"Wow...Brilliant Rowan!" Mio called out, grinning broadly at the Ravenclaw. "That was one kick-ass spell." he said admiringly. He really needed to learn that one as well, might come in handy later on.
For now though, Mio helped picking up the stunned pixies to stuff them back into the cage. "Next time we just leave and then Lockhart can take care of this mess on his own..." he muttered, still angry with his teacher.

"Yeah!" Ian cheered for Rowan and shot a smile at her. That was a very impressive spell, he thought grinning and picked up a Pixie to put it into the cage. "I wonder if the next lesson will be as chaotic as this one." he wondered out loud and Neville visibly blanched at that. "I hope not..." he muttered under his breath, still shaken from the whole situation.

Harry smiled as everyone began placing the pixies inside the cage, "I figured you would Neville, as I hope not as well," he groaned slightly at the fact Lockhart was such an incompetent buffoon.