Between four eyes... (Remus)

Morana was enjoying another nice afternoon/evening at the lake as wind played with her hair. She was leaned against the tree, her eyes closed as she enjoyed the silence. She was satisfied with herself. Things with Marvolo were a bit better again and she finally got a chance to have some fun. Not to mention their little party right here last night. She felt happy. Truly happy.

Remus left the woods again. being forcedd there whenever he felt he was going to lose control, walking along the lake he sighed and remembered how he and sirius had a falling out in a spot a few yards from him.

"Remus Lupin, what a lovely surprise," Morana said as she saw him, mischief in her eyes.

Remus looked up as a voice met his ears "Gaunt" he said his voice husky from shouting.

He frowned a bit and approached her sitting down he said "I'm really...i'm really sorry"

"Keep that," she said, her voice suddenly hard, without a single emotion. Her stone wall was imidiately up all around her heart as she refused to let anyone see how torn apart she felt. "I am not into sorry talks," she added.

"I had a sister" he said ignoring what she said as he looked out over the lake "pretiest girl i've ever seen...." he raised a hand to his neck where some of the many scars he wore were "I got these..trying to save her"

He looked at her as he continued to speak "She knew..the wolf was out there she was 16 and perfect but she battled demons inside her soul..that none of us saw, we heard the howling and I followed her to the door.."

"She stood there in her dress her hand on the handle, I told her don't please Morgaine don't...but she looked to me crying and apologized then ran into the wolf's waiting jaws"

"I chased her my small body was no match for the wolf..i tried to save her but she died and took my humanity with her"

He reached out to her gently "I know how it feels Morana..."

"One thing is to know how it feels, the other one is to care," Morana replied, her usually cold eyes full of pain and tears. "Many people know. But nobody cares," she added. She knew this too much. Nobody cared. Never. They were princesses, they told them. So how come everybody treated them as unwanted trash? How come she had to become coldblooded bitch to save herself, how come her sister had to kill herself to get freedom?

"I care" he said softly "I care....I understand and I feel it too...I wasn't close to her..I hated Marvolo for taking Sirius but...after I saw what he did to her..god I wish i had stopped her from saying yes" he shook his head

"Nobody could stop her. She never stopped when she wanted something. I guess that's just us snakes. We want something, so we get it. Even if it is our own death," she said, her voice distant just like her eyes. "We manipulate, we thirst for power, we control, we punish, but our actions are driven by one singular piece, deep inside..." she repeated words her godmother said to her once. "...we are alone and we hate it," she never saw so much truth in these words as she did now. Specialy when those words were originaly spoken by woman incapable of feelings. But they were now painfully accurate.

Remus shut his eyes swallowing his own tears "Morgaine was a snake" he said before pulling Morana into his arms for a hug "Morana I am so sorry.."

If she was strong enough, she would push him away. But she wasn't. This wasn't game she had control of. And she hated that feeling. "I just she spoke to me. She always did, why not now?" she asked, her eyes trying to find the answer in clouds.

His hands gently rubbed her arms keeping her close trying to comfort her "When someone is truly...truly lost there will to live...they will smile for us..pretend..then take themselcves away..she's been through so much..she just lost her baby.."

"But she always knew I am here for her. It was us against the world. Me and her. Our whole life. We made it. All those digusted looks, hate, broken dreams. And than he came," she said with hate clear in her voice. She didn't care Remus was his friend. It was his fault her sister was now dead. Morana was sure of it.

"I know" he said "I know..I used to see her...shortly after you and cr-Barty got together i'd see her wandering the castle alone...I guess..she became lonely"

"Funny, most of that time I was actually waiting for her at our dormitory," said Morana bitterly. She wanted to go back, to do something different. Something that would keep her sister alive. But she couldn't.

He squeezed her gently "she was lost in her pain Morana..no one could have stopped this"

"Aren't we all? Lost in our pain..." she said desperately. "Barty still having father issues no matter how much he denies it, Morgan still dreaming about Rabs when she closes her eyes, you fighting animal inside or me..." she left that sentence unfinished. No one knew about her pain. And she planned to keep it that way.

"of course we are" he said softly "but its not all about the things that happen to us...sometimes we have these horrible emotions...that kill us....Marvolo cut herself, i could smell it every moment i was in the same area as her, she burned her skin, we will never know over what." he made morana look at him "You need to beleive me Morana you could not have stopped her but this is not your fault"

"It is as long as I know I didn't do anything I could," she replied. "I was selfish, I blamed her because of him, I avoided, because of him. I accused her for pulling me behind while it was me all along," she admitted what was burning in her chest.

His eyes penetrated her gaze "Morana..Arachne..Gaunt" he said darkly "Nothing you said or did could have helped or stopped her"

Tears began to gather in his eyes and spill over "Nothing"

She just closed her eyes and for a few moments, she looked as tired as she really was. She was missing something. Not only her sister. She was missing a friend. Not like Rabs. Not someone who will bring even more darkness up to surface. She needed someone who would see the light. Because she herself lost it from her reach. And now, without Marvolo by her side, she felt all her emotions silently leaving her body, leaving only empty shelf behind.

"no no your not doing this" he said hugging her with fiercoity "Morana your not closing in on yourself I know theres good in you I know your sad but look at me..I'm reaching out to you, see my hand and take it Mors"

"Tell me one thing..." she said with bitter smirk, her eyes drunk with sadness. "Why? Why do you care about me?" she asked. "You know nothing about me. I am just monster to you," she whispered.

"Your not a monster" he said softening "You never did a thing wrong...and don't think i forgot what you said...to the other slytherins back in your first year..when they tortured me in class when i became a wolf"

For a few moments she went few years back in her memories and smiled weakly. "You also saw very clearly what I did to Black," she replied.