Drowning In The Past (Rabastan)

Sirius entered a dark bar, hidden in the back of Knockturn alley. Having his hood up, no one seemed to recognize the young boy, as he sat in the darkest booth. He was trying to imagine how he would spend his life now that he was of Hogwarts, and he could only think of joining the Ministry. But training to be an auror would take too much of his time. He couldn't lose time, he had to help the order.

To drown his sorrows, Sirius ordered two bottles of Dragon Barrel Brandy, and leaned back in his seat. He took a look at his hands, twisting his rings. The one Luna had given him, and that strange ring he had gotten on Christmas two years before.

Rabastan entered and greeted the society of strangers around. They all knew him, he was after all, in the closest circle of Dark Lord's followers. He didn't know any of them. Nor did he care. Not like they survive this war in the end. He sat on the black couch in the darkest corner of the place. It was like throne for visitors. Only certain people had their reserve here. It didn't take long before sexy girl who worked here brought him his favourite firewhiskey and as always tried to catch his attention. It didn't matter how many times he brought Katrina here, other ladies still had hope to steal him away. How naive.

Sirius watched as a slim, well taken care of, boy strolled in the dark bar. He recognized the boy instantly, and growled slightly, "Rabastan," he said, not caring who heard him growl out the boy's name. Soon, he turned his attention to the waitress, who couldn't be less of a show of. She had just come over from Rabastan's side to give Sirius the bottles he had ordered, and he smirked, thinking Rabastan was playing with the little fool. Another one in his grasp...How classy, he chuckled, thanking the waitress, before ripping the cork out of one of the bottles and chugging down some of the Brandy.

"Come to drink to the wrong bar, don't you think?" Rabastan smirked as he noticed Sirius and could clearly see his current thoughts written in his chuckle. Rabastan was actually curious what one of the lion golden boys is doing at place like this. Maybe even he got tired of that crap Order surely came up with. Rabastan chuckled with these thoughts as he took a sip of his firewhiskey and continued to stare at Sirius.

"Not my fault this place serves the best Brandy around..." Sirius answered immediately, chugging down more of his drink. He scratched his goatee, looking at all the idiotic followers surrounding Rabastan. "They all your bitches?", Sirius asked abruptly, as the men started to glare at him, and mutter 'blood traitor' amongst themselves.

Rabastan made a dark laugh as he gestured others to leave them alone and place was imidiately much more privat since everyone moved to the bar in the other room. "It always come in handy to have some wannabe get his neck broken instead of you. They are happy, I am alive, perfect," he smirked. There was no regret in his face. Than he looked at his drink before taking another sip, making glass empty. "You are right, they have good stuff here, I never really thought of that," he added as waitress aproached him again with her cheap tries to catch his attention. As she left, he turned back to Sirius. "Her parents do the dirtiest work in hope they get her into inner circles. Funny, since you can clearly see how terrifies she is from all of this," he said it and chuckled again.

Sirius clapped with two of his fingers, as he saw everyone disperse, leaving the two men and the waitress alone in the darkest part of the bar. "She's looking to survive," he said with a grin. "No shame in that," he stated honestly. "She might be picking the wrong side though," he added, with a teasing tone as he drank a bit more. Sirius did indeed wonder what Rabastan's life was like. Be a king, amongst the other lackeys. Truly a life he deserved. But at times, he ended up discovering he gave up that life on two different occasions. He knew that although he had a side that thought and acted like Rabastan, Sirius truly belonged with those who cared for him. "How's life with what's her name...Katarina? Katrina?," Sirius asked, holding the bottle in his hand.

"She is not picking. She has no other choice. I am many things, but even I know this is wrong. After all, if I didn't, I wouldn't let Morgan walk away back then," Rabastan said bitterly. He didn't comment the fact they could lose the war, it was pointless. Of course they could. It was either them or the other side. But having chat about it here in the pub was somehow ridiculous. "Katrina. She is clever, she knows what she wants and what side she wants to be at. She exactly the person that you are not ashamed to be who you truly are with. I guess I was lucky in the end," he smirked with thought of his past with women, which ironically he shared with Sirius.

Sirius chuckled at Rabastan's phrase. ...in the end. How amusing it was. The end. The end was coming for Sirius, and he still didn't have Mira. He still didn't make things right. Soon, soon everything would be back to its place. "You were indeed lucky...although I gotta ask," Sirius started, taking a sip of his bottle, "Does Morgan still make your heart tingle?", he asked, smirking as he awaited for an answer.

"Does she makes yours?" Rabastan answered with the same question but in a way he knew it was also the answer. "Morgan is an angel. I honestly admire how even in this situation, in all this mess, she still somehow managed to keep our generation together. We are capable of killing each other on a spot, but than she makes a smile and we just sit for a tea and wait until she doesn't look to finish the dirty work," he added. It was true. Morgan was probably light for all of them. How long it takes before war will break her angel wings? Rabastan would do anything to prevent it, but just like Sirius, he knew there was no way to do so. "Anyway, you still doesn't seem to have luck with women," Rabastan turned conversation in other direction.

"You know the answer," he answered just as soon as the question came. Morgan was, somehow, a person that went along with both sides. But one thing Sirius found wrong in Rabastan's sentence was the 'she doesn't look'. That was what they had to do, to not reveal themselves to her, and destroy her 'innocence'. Sirius however, didn't really mind killing death eaters in front of Morgan. In fact, he thought she actually needed to see something like that. "Oh I have luck with women," Sirius answered, not really minding that the conversation had shifted. "Too much luck. But my luck's been running out ever since I got engaged to Marvolo...she too, makes my heart tingle. She's able to get to you in such way,...you don't even know how she got in, you just know that you can't let her out! Girl's amazing..." Sirius said with a grin, ending the first bottle and instantly opening the second one.

"Both twins can do it. Difference is, that Marvolo does that without intention to do so, which means she does that pretty much with the most people she meets. Morana turned it into weapon in the moment she realized what can she do. That's the reason why Morgan or Lupin can be friends with her, while you can't. If you understand my point," Rabastan said. "General thing about twins is they deal with their pain a bit differently. Morana is simply very strange in this. And you must admit, you could never get to meet the kind side of her. Things like stabbing her sister isn't really way to go," he chuckled.

Once Rabastan mentioned what Sirius had done, Black took his hood off, taking a deep breath. He drank the entire bottle in one go, not caring how much he took in. Then, he ordered a bottle of firewhiskey, drinking it all as well. He kept going like this, until several bottles were empty. By that time, Rabastan was probably already wondering why Sirius hadn't even bothered to answer. "You know, Rabs, there's this thing...I feel as if, its not my fault, ya know. I mean, why would I do that...why..." he asked, shrugging as he kept drinking.

"Deep thought, really. Special after you just drank how many bottles at once?" Rabastan asked with sarcasm as he watched Sirius, slightly amused by his achievement. But as lion played with one of the empty bottles, something caught his attention. "The ring, who gave it to you?" he asked much more serious now.

"Ten? Fifteen?" Sirius responded with a set of questions of his own. As he picked up a bottle, he glanced at Rabastan, as he questioned him about a ring. However, Sirius had two, and with his state of mind, he couldn't really know which one was Rabastan talking about. "Which one? The one with my family's crest?" he asked back. The one with his family's crest was the one he had received in that christmas morning. The same day he had stabbed Marvolo...

"Yeah, that one. As far as I remember, you are disowned, so why the family ring," Rabastan asked, genuinely curious. It was usually nothing, but truth was Rabastan noticed those little things, Morana taught him to never believe in coincidences.

"Yeah, disowned...I actually found it strange, but I figured my father gave it to me," He responded honestly, letting the bottle fall on the table. It didn't break, but it made quite a noise. Sirius slowly took the ring out, and it let out a green flash. "Then again, the person who sent me this never signed the letter...and the reason that I find it odd, is that, I was given this...well, piece of crap, on christmas..." he continued to explain the reasons as to why he had that item in his possession.

"And it never occured to you it might not be just innocent piece of trash? Give it to me," Rabastan narrowed his eyebrow. Marauders were smart when it came to school, but obviously totaly useless in real life. "Man, past years was so obvious war is coming and where you stand, not to mention you dated Marvolo Gaunt, and you just put on the ring that came out of nowhere?!" he asked, amused.

"It has occurred to me once or twice...but I've never paid attention to it," Sirius said. In fact, he hadn't really cared. To him it was just a useless ring. Sliding it down his finger he threw it over to Rabastan. "Here it is," he shouted.

Rabastan caught the ring and silently observed it for a while, before she called for waitress and put the ring on her finger and quickly grabbed her face as he studied her eyes. "Looks like we got ourselves a winner. Thank you lady," he put the ring down gently and let the slightly scared girl go. "You are an ass, Black. I mean it. Close your eyes and hold it for a moment, do not put it on," Rabastan said as he threw the ring back at his owner. It was weak trace, but obviously it was damn strong curse. Those cannot be hidden completely.

Sirius grinned at the insult, as he was already used to it. Rabastan and Morana always used to insult him even if they thought Sirius didn't know it. It bothered him back when he was with Marvolo, but now he really didn't mind. Glancing back at the only bottle that still had booze in it, Sirius took another sip, before looking back at Rabastan. He caught the ring, and clenched his fist around it, shutting his eyes, as Rabastan had suggested.

"Feel it?" Rabastan asked. "That's pretty fucked up curse, when it still have traces on it even after two years," he added.

Sirius felt something trace his hand. Something very soft, and light. He was barely able to feel anything at all. The booze clearly helped in getting him less focused on everything else. Sirius opened his eyes slowly, and glanced down at his own fist, letting his hand open up again. He glared at the ring, clenching his jaw, "Suna'ofabitch...I do feel it...", he said, looking at Rabastan afterwards.

"Yeah, as I said, it's pretty fucked up stuff. And you are an ass not to recognize it sooner. Anyway, you are lucky I am pretty fucked up as well, so I should be able to clear your mind of this," Rabastan started, clearly amused by the situation they ended up in. "That however means two bad news for both of us. Eaither I can let you live with it, which shamefully would be risk for all of your friends including Morgan or Marvolo since we both know you still care about her. Or you can let me into your mind to try to get rid of it, which is annoying for both of us," Rabastan suggested.

Sirius heard Rabastan loud and clear. He was still much more lucid than what he expected to be, and so, could still use occlumency to not allow Rabastan to get to any important memory. He had mastered the subject, and was continuing to master it even further with the help of Alastor, "Get rid of it," he said, determined to get whatever had gotten in him, out.