Just Checking (Morgan)

Morgan's grey-blue eyes found Lyra's, "But how can I be sure of that?" She knew there were those on both sides that would gladly fight for her, but when the time came would she actually be protected on both sides. When it comes out that she is standing on the side of light, will her alleged dark friends really fight to protect her?

"Well" she said touching her wrist where a scar lie "When harm came to you, what became of the cause?"

Morgan looked at the scars from the low point in her life before Remus came as surrounded her with his love. She thought about what had happened when harm and sorrow and pain seemed to find her. "There was always someone there to save me, it seems," she said tracing one of the five scars that graced her pale flesh. "Each time from a different standard, as you say it..." Morgan added remembering that first Sirius took her into his confidence. Then, when she was broken after Sirius, Rabastan and Morana saved her. Even if they took her on a walk through darkness itself, they still cared enough of save her. Finally, when Morgan was in her darkest moments, at her lowest point, Remus came to her rescue.

Clasping her hands around the top of her cane Lyra smiled that knowing smile she got when you reached the same conclusion she did "You have angels on both sides darling" she brushed a strand of hair off Morgan's face. "But what do you do if the one you love the most tries to follow his heart? tries to follow morana? Do you cry to him? Or do you love him enough to follow so he is no longer tormented by what makes his faith sway?" Lyra wasn't a fool, not in the slightest being ill she was able to stand on the sidelines of life and she watched the other students often and knew more then she let on.

Morgan looked away at Lyra's words. She had asked herself the same questions over and over since things grew more and more serious with Remus. Morgan wanted to believe that Remus was on the same side as she and the boys were. She saw the light in him, could feel it.... But, she knew the temptation was there for him. "I don't know....." Morgan whispered, folding her hands and putting them under her chin as she leaned forward, her elbows on her knees. "I don't know, Lyra...." she repeated, softly.

"We don't have to see darkness as evil you know, simply a way of life that does not hold a conscious so strongly" she said softly "he is tortured...those boys do not make it any better for him they think there abrasive nature will save him but it will only push him further away"

Morgan sighed. "But, can they see it that way? James, Sirius, and Peter.... Can they see that there are good people on the other side?" she asked and looked at her friend. "When the war finds us, I fear what will happen when we are forced to pick sides, Lyra. I don't know what will happen when the choices are made...." Morgan said, uncertainty filling her eyes.

"There will be death" she said her foggy eyes turning on her friend "and plenty of it, in there haste for justice and revenge i fear many a lost soul will die in the cross fire many innocent souls and you will see a side to your good friends a malicious side you never saw, and a fearful side for your dark friends you never thought possible" she sighed heavily as she twirled her finger over a flower in a vas at her side the green vine wrapped around her finger tightly then released. "War makes corpses of us all, and we are the walking dead."

Morgan thought about what Lyra had said. She was right. War changes people and what you thought was certain often turns out to be anything but. Looking away from Lyra's eyes, she sighed, deep in thought. This war was going to test all of them. Test the very grounds they believed and stood on. What was going to become of them? "What would you do, Lyra? If you were in my place faced with the uncertainty that I could be facing?" she asked, afraid to look at her wise friend.

Her hands curled around her cane in thought she leaned her chin on the pommel while her eyes locked in darkness struggled to see the fire dancing in the marble hearth. "You speak of Remus like you've loved him a thousand times" she began softly "I'd never risk a love like that, i'd stand by him and hope to all high powers that he can find the way that wont kill him in the end but be the one to keep him human." she turned slowly after several moments with a small smile she said "When it comes to soul mates...well you go where they go"

"It feels like I've been here before. With him, I mean," Morgan said. "It's like, my heart and mind remembers this love. Perhaps our spirits are tied to one another..." Morgan wanted to stay wih Remus, no matter what. He was her rock and safety. He was home, and she felt that whenever he was near, whenever he spoke to her, whenever he held her. But, she was still conflicted. "Soul mates means being tied to one another. A bond that is unbreakable... But, what if our choices are in direct conflict to each others? What if I can't...." Morgan stopped mid-thought, a knot forming in her throat. "What if I can't make the same choice that he makes?" she all but whispered. The threat she spoke of was very real, and she knew it. Lyra likely knew it, too, being the highly observant one that she was. "I've made my choice.... I fear that his choice isn't the same as mine...." she finished softly.

"Follow him into the dark, be his rock in the coming storm and like a lighthouse to a boat, guide him home" she said laying a hand over the girl's "you are bonded for all time my darling, and love always finds a way just do not give up on him and he will not dissapoint you"

Morgan sighed as she placed her hand over their joined ones. "I wish it was that easy, Lyra.... The others won't understand. Their trust is so easily broken, and I've only just gained it back...." she said, sorrow touching her words. "I don't know that they will know that to bring him back, I must go after him. Will they understand that while I stand with them, I have to take the light into the shadows to light and guide his steps?" she asked, looking into Lyra's smokey eyes.

Lyra squeezed there hands and smiled sorrowfully "as yourself this, who matter more to you, what matters more? Saving your one true love or the trust of your friends"

"Both matter, Lyra...." Morgan said, her voice cracking. "But, you're right. If he chooses to venture into the darkness, even though my place is on the side of light, he will need me beside him, not just to be strong for him, but to let my light shine so I can guide him back home," she said as a tear slipped down her cheek. Wiping it away, she managed a small smile. "I'm sure Sirius and the others will understand. Remus is their brother, and they will do anything to help get him back should he go astray. Even if it means, me following him to bring him back. At least, I hope they will..." she said, her bright voice fading as the hope she had, faltered slightly.

"Something trouble's you" she said softly her eyes follwoing her "speak darling you know I will listen"

Morgan's eyes locked onto Lyra's fogged ones. "It's just..." she said as she played over in her mind what Remus had told her earlier. "If he goes to the darkness, they will.....James, Sirius, and Peter vowed to kill him..." she said getting up and beginning to pace as she played it over and over in her mind.

Silence followed her words and she nodded slowly "I'm noto to surprised...why?"

"James still doesn't trust him...." Morgan said as she paused her pacing. Would he trust me to bring him back if given a chance? "That was all he said. Why would they want to make such a promise?" she asked, looking at her friend.

Lyra shook her head "I can only imagine it would be a mercy killing" she said sagely.

"But why...." Morgan whispered as she ran her fingers through her blonde hair, turning towards the window opposite them. "Would I even be strong enough to bring him back if he did pick this path? Strong enough to stand against them....The boys...." Morgan spoke out loud, not really to anyone.

"perhaps not alone" she said standing she leant heavily on her cane, walking up behind her she laid a hand on her back "But together....anything is possibly"

Morgan glanced over her shoulder as Lyra placed a comforting hand on her back and smiled. "You would help me?" she asked. She would have never thought to ask her to help in a situation such as this. Morgan was a fool to not think of that. Lyra was one of her dearest friends, and Morgan would do anything for her. Why didn't she think that the same went for her if she needed help?

"I don't practice dueling and sword play for my health you know" she said jokingly before growing more serious. "I stand with you no matter what you do, if it comes to fighting my cousin and his friends I shall do so gladly" she smirked uncharacteristically "And i shall win"

Morgan laughed lightly, a small smile touching her lips. Even with her fading sight, Lyra was a force to be reckoned with when it came to dueling. "Yes, you would, and I will be there, by your side, too. I just hope it won't come to that," she said. Turning, she pulled Lyra into a strong hug. "Thank you. You mean the world to me, Lyra," Morgan said happily.

She hugged her with a smile burying her face in her shoulder "as you mean the word to me my darling"

Morgan held Lyra tight, resting her head against hers. "So, what all can you see still?" she asked quietly. Morgan tried to stay up to date with how she was doing so she knew. Some days were better than others, she knew, but she liked to keep tabs on how this illness was progressing with her dear friend.