Blood on our hands... (Morgan)

Rabastan came back to his dorm, rage in his veins. This mission got screwed up. Not only that they killed more than they should have, which will make muggle police carefull, they also caught attention of aurors. Even if they were young and stupid, Rabastan managed to kill only one of them and he wasn't entirely sure the other one didn't see his face. Not to mention he almost bumped into Dumbledore, while he was quietly sneaking in corridors, covered in blood. Like this day couldn't be any worse. If Death Eaters are exposed too soon because of him, he was not sure if Morana could save him from the Dark Lord. This was simply a mess.

Morgan had been reading on Rabastan's bed, waiting for him to return. He had told her that he was needed to go take care of something and would be back soon. She put in her bookmark and sat up a bright smile on her face. But, when she caught sight of him, her smile faded and a look of confusion covered it. "Rabastan, what happened? Why are you covered in... Is this blood?" she said going to him and touching the red that stained him.

He looked at her shocked. She was the last one he would expect here. But of course, when something has to be fucked up, than all of it. "Don't ask, when you don't want to know the answer," he said honestly. His voice was deadly serious, full of rage, bloodlust and darkness he carried deep in his heart, in front of Morgan usually carefully hidden. This was not right. She was never supposed to see him like this. He wanted to curse out loud as he ripped the shirt off and threw it into the corner behind him.

Morgan went slack jawed at his hard words. Rabastan had never spoken to her like that before. She wet her lips and went to him, gently putting her hands on his now bare chest. Her bright sapphire eyes looked into his. He was angry she could see that, but why? "I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know," she said back. She raised a palm to his cheek and managed a small smile.

He looked at her and wished he could just kiss her and hug her, but he couldn't. For someone like her, he was monster now and he was very well aware of it. "Well, if you really want to know, than yes, it is blood. And no, it's not mine," he replied, his voice still the same. "It happens, when you are still underage, you have mission out of Hogwarts and as a bonus, you cannot use unforgivables. Than, it gets messy," he added, not really knowing why.

"This is where you went?" she asked. Then paused thinking about what he was saying. She went to start again a couple of times before finally saying, "Rabastan, if this isn't your blood, whose is it?" Morgan knew what he meant by being unable to use unforgivables. That meant that whatever he did, it was with things other than the quick and easy death.

He narrowed eyebrow and couldn't stop a little smirk. Did she really want to know? "Well, one family and one auror. As far as I can count," he answered honestly. Right now, he could hardly tell her he killed or only hurt one person and that he regret when he was still half excited about taking away all those souls.

Morgan pulled her hands away from Rabastan slowly as he told of whose blood was covering him. Her eyes filled with shock at hearing not just the words, but seeing the look on his face. Was he actually pleased with himself? "Was this what you do with the.... Death Eaters?" she asked remembering that he said he was to be one, but she never would be. She was afraid of the answer, but she had to know. It was too late now.

He watched her step back and for a single moment his hand seemed to try reach her and take her back, close to him. But in the end, he didn't. How he wished she didn't have to see this. Why was she asking him all these questions? Like if she didn't know. "What do you want to hear? That it was just an accident? You know the truth just like I do. This is me. This is who I am. And not only me. It's also Marvolo or Morana. We are all like this. And I can make excuses as much as I want, but we both know it would be a lie, because there is no apology in the world for the fact that I enjoyed it. And I would do it again. And not because I am a twised psychopath or maybe I am, who knows. But mainly because that's what I believe. That is what I want for the future. Our world not the muggle one like now," he said completely honest with her. All he could hope for right now was that she won't go straight to Dumbledore tell him where he was this night.

Morgan raised her one hand to her cheek and dropped her eyes. She turned away from him as she processed when he was saying. Then she folded her hands and held them to her lips, closing her eyes tight. "I knew, but I didn't want to believe..." she said. Inside her, she felt something and this time it didn't just stay quiet. It filled her to overflowing with something warm and familiar. "I wanted to believe that things weren't as they were. Wouldn't be as they are..." she said quietly.

Rabastan watched her carefully, waiting if she will finish the sentence. When she went quiet, he looked down. "This is me, Morgan. I am selfish, posessive bastard, capable of anything. And I told you that before I asked you to marry me," he said, his voice calmer and more sad than few moments ago. How much he wished he could just hold her in his arms like he did this afternoon and all those days before.

Morgan turned and went to him, wrapping her arms around him and holding him tight. As she rested her head against his bare chest, her silent tears streaked down her cheek and dripped onto his chest. She was so happy with Rabastan. He never did anything to hurt her, he only loved her. True, he had told her those things before he asked for her hand in marriage, but she believed that she could be strong... Look and love past them.... But she was a fool. "I love you, Rabastan...." she said softly. Morgan looked up at him, and her eyes were the brilliant grey-blue they always used to be. The warm, familiar feeling touched every part of her being, slowly bringing her back to the light.

He looked at her as he enjoyed that moment when she was so close to him. He gently took her face into his hands and kissed her. It was kiss full of darkness, but also love, sadness and understanding. He knew what she was going to say next. He just wanted one last time.

Tears fell down Morgan's cheeks as she kissed Rabastan, putting both palms against his cheeks. She felt the emotion he put into that kiss and hers mirrored all of it. She didn't want to say the words she knew she had to, but it had to be done. As the kiss ended, she took a moment to think, eyes closed and biting her bottom lip gently. Morgan opened her eyes and wiped the tears from her face, she looked at him and smiled the smile that was only for him. "I love you, and I would happily stand by you, Rabastan. But, I can't stand by what you do..." her voice broke as a fresh wave of tears welled in her eyes and fell. "You have been nothing but kind to me, and I am forever grateful for that," as she spoke, her voice stilled and she calmed.

He smiled sadly as he wiped her tears away. "You have no idea how much I wish you could see, that you really were better with us," he whispered. He wished it so hard, but he also knew Morgan wasn't like them. She wasn't a Slytherin. She saw only the greater good. Not good for her own. "But I understand," he added. "You have no idea how much I wish I could just take you into bed and hold you all night and never let you go," he whispered again as he looked into her eyes.

Morgan went to him and took his hand, "There is part of me, I think, that is still with you. I've seen things through your eyes and a part of me will never forget it. I just can't be what I'm not." She smiled then, a tender loving smile, "I thank you for understanding. I will always be there for you, should you need me, Rabastan." Morgan kissed his cheek and then whispered in his ear, "Take me to bed, just this one last time. I will be gone when you wake."

He grabbed her and carried her into bed, holding her close to him. "Keep the ring. Maybe one day, it will remind you, that I will never hurt you," he whispered to her and than kissed her deeply. He didn't want to fall asleep. And he didn't want this night to end. But there was nothing he could do about it.

Morgan wrapped her arms around his neck as Rabastan lifted her small frame and took her to bed. Her eyes shone, just for him, as he told her to keep the ring he had given her. She had planned to put it on his dresser as she left, but she couldn't after his request of her. She returned his deep kiss as he placed her in bed with him. She wished that she hadn't had to do what she did, but she was happy that he understood.

Dawn...

Morgan woke and found Rabastan still asleep. She took a moment to just look at him. She smiled as she gently stroked his cheek. He had been her dark prince and she his dark princess, but not now. She got up silently and without disturbing him. Morgan began to head for the door, but then stopped. She turned and took one last look at the one who had saved her and helped to put her back together when she was broken. She walked back to the bed and softly kissed his cheek. Then, with one tear running down her cheek, she left...

He woke up just to find that she was gone. He so much wanted to stay awake, that he fell asleep late enough to be asleep when she was leaving. He wanted to run, catch her and never let her go, but he knew it was impossible. And maybe it was for the best, that he was asleep. Maybe if he wasn't, she would stay. And than, she would be probably witness to everything he was about to do. It was hard to even think about how broken she would be. How desperate. No, she never belonged on this side of baricade. And he knew it. The whole time. Still, it was so hard to accept that as his hand tried to reach her on the empty side of his bed.