Suicidal Empty Child

I Only Wanted To Be Loved.

Marvolo lay in the grass, her tears frozen on her cheeks, her bare feet knocked against the stones and her blood was dried to her skin. The knife given to sirius by Luna lay next to her sodden with blood, Her glassy eyes once full of life were empty, drained of emotion and happiness, she had no reason to smile or laugh...she never had a reason to be happy.

She held in a broken hand, cradled under her chin her engagement ring and wore his t-shirt. Under a rock were letters she left behind, her wand lay at her side covered in blood and forgotten.

As the moon rose over the trees, She stumbled from the castle crying, she knew she wasn't meant to be happy...she was a horrible person...she knew about the cuts on his arms and the way he called out for someone that wasn't her...she was always in the forest she always knew.

He wasn't happy...

He didn't want her...

She believed..

And he Lied.

She had tried drinking to numb the pain but she hated herself, hated herself for falling in love, for loving her friends, for loving even her sister. She hated herself for getting pregnant and not moving fast enough to save the baby...her poor...unborn baby.

She loved him....despite herself she loved him and the realization made the tears come faster.

Falling to her knees she managed to pull her legs up to her and put her letters under a rock by the lake, taking her wand from her robe she left it with the letters, slowly she cut her wrist, careful to trace the scar she left earlier.

She felt the pain but marveled at the explosion of blood, already she was feeling just a little bit better...

She held the knife to her face and cut clean across it, the blood seeped out of the wound and down over her right eye and over her lips.

She turned the knife over in her hand and over her heart she carved "S.Black"

She smiled to herself imagining how beautiful she must look now...maybe when she was gone he would finally love her.

The blood from her wounds soaked the ground as she turned on her stomach, she carved a small heart over her navel to represent the baby that was stolen from her.

Finally she cut her left wrist wide open, holding her ring she laid down on the grass, she watched the water of the lake ripple as life faded from her body.

The Suicide Notes:

Dear Morana,

Please forgive me...I know I shouldn't have left you alone but I'm sorry I am weak and cowardly I cannot handle the pain any longer..all I wanted was to be loved but I cannot have love, not true love.

I love you so much and please be happy, marry Barty and have many children, good luck in our troubles with Uncle I know you can win. You are the strongest, best witch I know.

If there is a heaven or hell, I'll tell mother all about you...father too if I can find him..if they are here.

I love you so much....
Remember Me.
                          -Marvolo

Dear Luna and Kronos,

I gave you life, never forget that I did that out of my undying love for you both..stay by Morana's side she will need you two more then anything, love her be her friend and fight for her.

I leave her in your care,
I'm sorry I couldn't be there to see you as parents.

I love you,
Remember Me.
                   -Marvolo

Morgan,

Be happy.

I love you,
Remember Me.

                  -Marvolo

Sirius,

I will never stop loving you, I hope it was worth it...I'll tell our child about you...
Sometimes we live with pain that is far to great for us to carry on living with.

I love you
Forget Me.
            -Marvolo