Please, come back (Morgan, James)

Lily was sitting outside at the coutyard, listening to clock and waiting for Morgan. She knew she has to go this way to get to her another class and she wanted to talk to her once again about what happened. She kind of hoped Morgan will be alone and that would make her more valuable to opinions of someone else than her precious serpents.

Morgan, dressed in a long blue and black dress, hair curled and pinned up at the sides, strode through the Transfiguration Courtyard on her way to Ancient Runes. Her head was held high with her new found confidence and air of superiority surrounding her. She spotted Lily sitting on the steps as she made her way through. She hoped she would be able to pass by without confrontation. Morgan didn't need to hear any more from her impure self.

Lily got up quickly. "Morgan, can I talk to you? Please?" sje asked nervously and sadly. She couldn't miss that change, but her naivity allowed her hope, that it's just because she has date with Rabastan after school.

Morgan stopped in her tracks, holding her books to her chest. She sighed and looked at Lily, her dark eyes cold and bright. "What is it, Lily?" Morgan said flatly.

"First I wanted to apologize I was so mean. I just had a bad day," Lily started. She hoped Morgan will forgive her and they will be able to talk properly. "I just really wanted you to see the truth, that's all," she added with weak smile.

Morgan looked away and sighed, "I forgive you, Lily." When Lily mentioned that she wanted Morgan to simply see the truth about what was happening, Morgan's dark eyes snapped to hers. "The truth? I've seen the truth, Lily. I see that all my magical life I've been looked down upon and judged by people who are simply envious of what I am. I see that I am more than I was giving myself credit for, that I have nothing to be ashamed of. I see that people only see what they want to see to make themselves feel better..." Morgan said to her. The full extent of her transformation showing itself.

Lily wanted to be nice. She really did, but when she heard what Morgan said, she snapped again. "You mean exactly what you are doing right now?! Look at you! Look what they alredy did to you! Since when do you dress like this? Since when you speak almost to no one but snakes?" Lily asked angrily. Why couldn't Morgan see what was happening to her?

Morgan took a step towards Lily, "I speak to whom I wish. I'm speaking to you, aren't I?" She took a breath to calm herself. "You are no better than the rest of them, Lily. You, yourself, are doing exactly what the others do to me and my friends. You think that just because someone is one thing that makes them fit this horrid mold others like you have created. You don't even take the time to SEE, you simply take what you think you see and accept it," Morgan's dark eyes hardened at her words. "I have simply accepted what I am. I can't help that it makes me want to dress as I am," she added.

"And what exactly are you? Spoiled Slytherin princess? Because last time I checked you were amazing ordinary girl like the rest of us. We had fun and we did crazy things. We didn't care about blood or expensive clothes," Lily said, trying to open Morgan's eyes.

"Last time I checked a Raven adorned my robes. I can't help that I'm a Pureblood. I didn't have a choice in the matter," Morgan snapped to Lily. "I've never been ordinary. I'm born from two pure blood lines. It just took a little bit for me to see that I'm special. I'm not ordinary. And, I still have fun and am still able to do crazy things. I'm just a little more selective about whom I do those things with. What wrong with wanting to dress how I feel? Dressing this way makes me feel good about what I am. Let's other see what I am. Let's them see that their judgement means nothing to me..." her words were hard, but she wanted to get her point across, which she assumed was pointless with this muggleborn lioness.

"Selective about whom you do things with? What makes us, non-purebloods less than you? Seriously Morgan, wake up before you lose everyone you care about," Lily begged again. But she started to feel hopeless. Influence of Morana Gaunt was too much visible. And so was Rabastan's. They did their job perfectly. As always.

"There is no one else to lose," Morgan said quietly. "I lost the one I hold most dear... Now I have people I care about who understand me, what I am. People who won't let that happen to me again. You wouldn't know about that. What it's like to be as I am. You are the start of your magical line, I'm only the latest edition to mine," she added firmly. Morgan relaxed slightly, "Are we done here? I need to get to class."

As James came across the stairs, he noticed a very familiar scene. Morgan and Lily. Going at it again. Don't want this to get ugly. Again. James got closer, and inspected Morgan. What the heck was up with that dress? As he heard her last sentence, he stepped in. "I'm part of two pure blood families as well. You don't see me treating old friends the way you're doing Morgan." James commented. "Lily may very well be the start of her family's magical history, but does that make her less of a person? Hell, if all family's had a start, you're nothing but a descendant from a muggle born. As am I, and every other wizard." Of course James was being a bit pushy with his words, but he would not allow anyone to speak in a bad way to Lily. Even if it was a very close friend.

Morgan took a deep breath as James, once again, came to Lily's rescue. Not that she needed rescuing... She was getting fed up with everyone trying to tell her how she should see things and people. No one understood what she went through, has been going through. The only ones who seemed to were the ones she spent time with now: Rabastan, Morana, and Marvolo. She turned her dark, cold eyes on James, "I never said she was less of a person. I know you come from a family like mine, but that doesn't mean anything. My problem is with those who simply tell you how to live without knowing how you've lived. You, both, haven't gone through what I have. You don't know what it's like to live every day of your life under the disapproving eyes of your family. To always be the disappointment that will never be as good as her name says she should be. To be treated like dirt by those who are supposed to be your 'family' at school because of who you are, something outside your control." Morgan felt angry tears well up in her darkened eyes, "You haven't lived my life... You haven't been treated as I have been treated. Now I find who I am and people who understand me, and that's wrong, too. Well, tell me, Mr. and Miss Perfect, what am I to do? I'm finally happy and you want me to be miserable again? I'm finally what I should be, and you want me to go back to being the weak, powerless girl I was?" Morgan couldn't stop the tears as they fell. She didn't wipe them away, but let them fall letting James and Lily see them. She hugged her books close to her chest, "You know, Morana was right. You like me better as that weak witch I used to be. Because then I was inferior to you. Now, you're just unhappy that I've risen above that and become the strong, powerful witch I was always destined to be.... " With that, Morgan turned away from James and Lily and started to walk, downcast, towards the castle. She didn't have it in her to run.

James held his chin high, as Morgan walked away. He rubbed Lily's foreharm, giving her a kind little smile. "I got this!" He said, moving forwards. He ran a bit, and caught up to Morgan. "Listen you..." He said, with a friendly tone. "I know someone that lived what you lived. Even worst than what you did. Know where he is now? Surrounded by darkness. You say you love him, but I don't see you trying. I love him as a brother. And I will NEVER stop trying to get him back. Lily made Sirius understand what the hell he was doing. It wasn't enough. But if we all do it together, we can bring him back." James then put himself in front of Morgan, holding out his arms. "If he sees the girl he loves on the side he thinks he likes, what the hell do you think he'll do? You think he'll just figure out that it ain't right. He'll only understand when we're together. All of us. Including you Morgan." James said, loudly, filled with anger and audacity.

Morgan heard James speaking to her as she walked towards the castle, but she didn't stop until he stood in her path. She looked up at him, eyes wet and dark, but contemplating. What James said was making her think. Morgan dropped her gaze, turned to look at Lily, and then back at James, but this time, her eyes were the bright grey-blue they used to be. "You really think we can bring him back? All of us together?" she asked, her words catching in her throat. Her eyes pleaded for an answer from him as she waited.

"Are you kidding?" James asked with his usual friendly voice, seeing traces of the true Morgan still somewhere. "Think me, you, Lily, Remus and Peter can't bring him back? I've promised myself I'm gonna make him return. No matter when. No matter how. But if you're with us, you know he'll consider it even more. He might not admit it, but he loves you." James stated, with a new confidence.

"Of course you can, let's create a circle and pray," Morana chuckled. She was leaned on the wall in the corner, where no one could notice her unless she herself wanted it. Hidden in the shadows, as usually. Her torn white dress on, she was barefoot and with floral wreath on her head she looked at them with her piercing green eyes. "If something like that really worked, why would he turn dark in the first place? Why would he leave his best friends and the girl he loved behind? Why would he hurt them?" Morana asked curiously. "Because believe it or not, James Potter, us so called dark ones, we care too. And we would never turn our backs to those we love the most," Morana said coldly, as if opinion of the lion really insulted her. Truth was she felt insulted only by his presence, but she would hardly admit that out loud. Just like she would never tell Evans that she is patiently waiting for a chance to kill her. "You simply want to deny the fact, that your precious friend in the end chose someone else over you. But trust me, you'll get over it. Eventually. Meanwhile, what if you and your precious girlfriend step aside and let Morgan live her life instead of trying to make her feel miserable again out of your selfish needs?" she asked.

Morgan turned as she heard Morana's voice. Something didn't feel right. Inside her something just didn't feel right. She looked back at James, her eyes slowly darkened to the midnight blue they had adopted as of late, "He loves me? He certainly has a funny way of showing it. Where was his love when I was beaten and bleeding? Where was his love when I was hurting so badly? He saw me with you before, and he did nothing. He loves me? No, I was a possession to him and nothing more. Just something to add to his collection." Morgan held her head high then, "Forgive me, but if that is love, I don't want it." Her voice broke then, for, truth be told, she still loved Sirius deeply. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath, "Fight for him if you wish, but there is no love for me inside him any more. Fight to bring him back to where he is obviously not happy, if you wish. But, I will not be one to bring him back to what he doesn't want. Now, please excuse me, I have class to get to..." Morgan stood, waiting for James to step aside so she might pass, her eyes dark and cold.

"Let her live her life?" James asked, clearly shoked. "What the hell did you do then? You also stepped on Morgan's life. What tells you she wasn't gonna be happy, without serving, exactly, SERVING, people like you, and Lestrange. You took her away and I was simply trying to bring her back." James's angry stare switched to Morgan immediately. "AND YOU!!! I've had it. Lily tried. I tried. But can't you understand there are more people that care about you? Was Sirius the only thing that made you stay with us? Because if that's the case, I guess he doesn't need you. As a matter fact, now I think he was better before meeting and that other Gaunt. He was normal back then. Nothing would've happened. You say you just don't know what happened. Well I blame this all on Marvolo and you. I'm bringing him back. No matter what. You can be with me, or you can be against me. Just make sure you don't get in my way when I get my friend back." James turned to Morana, as he walked away from Morgan. "Same goes for you..." He stated, walking towards Lily.

Something in Morgan broke at James' hard words. Morgan looked away, ashamed of what she had said to him. James was her friend, she knew that, and it pained her to have to say what she did to him. Lily was her friend, too. So, why was she acting this way? Why didn't she listen to what they had to say? Inside, she felt as if what they said ran with truth, truth that she wanted to believe. Morgan turned to watch James as he left her. Inside, something tried to call out to him, tried hard to call out that she believed, that she wanted Sirius back, that she wanted to be with her friends. But, the scream from inside never made it out of her.

Morana started to laugh. Darkly and coldly, but it was still laugh. "Serve me? Morgan, sweetie, did I ever order you something? Did I ever wanted you to be my servant?" she asked the girl and laughed again and than stopped to turn her face to James, so Morgan couldn't see it. Her face was deadly calm, her eyes full of unspoken darkness. "Or did I, from all of the people, showed you, that world can still be happy, that you can be happy, that you can have people who won't judge you, who will actually try to understand your pain instead of looking at you as a strange thing," she said and than smirk appeared on her face. She knew how Morgan felt in society around James Potter and she was about to use it. She slowly walked closer to James and Evans and walked around them in circles. "Where were you, so-called best friends, when she was broken? And where were you before? When she spent afternoons sitting alone in the library, not really doing anything, just looking out of window and envy others their fun? Why, when you are so great friends to her and I am the beast here, why it was me, who was always there, who talked to her, who understood? Tell me, why Potter?" Morana asked with that strange curiosity only she and her godmother possesed.

"Well Gaunt, let me explain one thing. Being friendly and manipulating is very different. Not that I expect you to know that, because other than Lestrange, your sister, and that Crouch, you don't seem to socialize much. And where were we? Taking care of our lives. Because in case you don't know, our lives don't have to be known by anyone attending a party. Morgan could always come looking for me. I'd be there if she wanted to talk. Lily too. So don't come with the -I was there crap- because with me, I just know this ain't the case. You saw a weakened girl, and jumped in to get followers. Morgan might think otherwise, but her mind is clouded. Because when Sirius was with her, she knew who you and your sister were." James explained, having had enough of the Gaunts meddling with his life. The life of his friends. If she thought James would continue to stay calm from now on, she was extremely wrong. The first thing James was gonna do when he and Sirius left Hogwarts was gonna get him back. No influences from Gaunts, Crouch, Lestrange would exist. His friend would return.

Morgan's eyes flickered to the lighter shade and then back. Was her mind really clouded? Shefelt even more lost and confused as she listened to Morana and James talk. She could have gone to him, true, but at the time, she didn't know what to do. She just wanted to feel safe, like she mattered to someone, to be.... Alone... To find herself... Morgan shook her head to send the thoughts away. The scream inside quieted once more...

"I'm sorry...." she whispered, before dropping her head and walking to the castle for her next class. Unknown to her, she had dropped a piece of parchment. It was a letter to all her friends: James, Lily, Remus, Peter, Sirius. It was a letter telling them how lost and confused she felt. How alone and in the dark she felt. How sorry she was... It was a letter she never planned to send...