Letters from the Mystery Land (Celeste)

It took weeks before Lilith stopped being so tired to fall asleep the moment doors of her room closed. She loved her room. She was all alone, in her personal space, which she, with Lucian's help, managed to personalize. Now her room was mostly in black and green colors. Few framed pictures on her shelf above the table. Her parents, grandma Dellen and Celeste, her best friend. The more Lilith got to know herself at this place, the more she knew, she didn't really miss anyone else. Or anything else. She grew to love this place. More than what she used to call home. She smiled a little before sitting down in front of the parchment. It was time to write a letter...

Hi Cel!
It's me, Lilith. I know it's been weeks, and I know they announced me missing and you are mostly likely freaking out. At least part of me hopes you are. Truth is, that I needed to get away. And I am safe now. Safer, than I ever was. You of all people know my struggle. You've been there through all that crap called Kain Shadow. You held my hand everytime I hit the bottom. Truth is, I never managed to get up properly. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't face others, I couldn't live like a decent human being. I had to get away. And I did.

Right now, I am far away from you. But I won't tell you where. You can reply to this message and I will be more than happy if you do. But don't try to track me down. You can't. To the rest of the World, I am missing. And I want to stay that way. I don't know when or if I will ever come back. I need time and space. Lots of it. There are too many wounds that need to heal, so I can face the World again. But please remember, that I will never forget you. And I will be waiting for your letter. And also for your forgiveness. I hope you are doing okay. Because I am. For the first time since I could remember, I am okay. And I miss you.


Your Lilith


Putting the paper to the envelope, Lilith handed it to the owl waiting on her window and watched the bird leave and disappear behind the horizon. Sun was almost gone, another silent night coming. Lilith sat on the window, searching the sky, smile on her face. She loved this place.

Ever since Lilith went missing, Celeste was a secret mess but didn't look for her. It wasn't a kidnapping. If it was, there would be aurors everywhere and the school would be on lockdown but it didn't lessen her worry. It was bound to happen with all that shit with Kain which is why she told Artemis not to go to the ball with him. No luck. Sitting at her windowsill, the window wide open so she could feel the cool breeze against her skin making her slowly close her eyes. In the distance, she heard the coo of an owl and looked towards the window to take in the sight of an owl. ''Oh hello..'' Celeste muttered, stroking the beautiful bird and took the letter. Curling up on her bed to read the letter only to gasp instantly at the first line. She knew her friend's handwriting anywhere. She decided to reply..

Lilith...


Oh gods, Lilith...You're right. I was freaking out, i didn't know how to react to one of my best friends disappearing. But you're safe now. That's all that matters. I know you wouldn't do anything to endanger yourself, you being a Lestrange assured me that. I know I couldn't help much with the situation with psycho Kain but i'm glad you know i tried...that I tried to help you every step of the way. You can breathe now though...I just know you can and it makes me more light hearted to know this. My feelings are never wrong, you know that.


I wish you weren't far away or gone from my daily life. Don't ever say If...You will return. It may not be now, tomorrow, next week or even next month but you will. No one will track you, I won't track you despite all my urges telling me to. I believe everyone is distracting themselves with all that has happened. You disappearing..Misha dying...It's too much for the houses that everywhere you go, it's just doom and gloom. I'll look after Robert from afar or try to. 


I will never forget you, Lilith. Ever. You don't need my forgiveness as there is nothing to forgive. Just take the time to heal, okay? Promise me that. I'm doing better, knowing you're safe now. Next time you decide to disappear, at least take me with you so I don't have to worry. I will protect you with my life, like I promised to. I miss you, Lilith...Return to me when you're well. Keep safe and happy.


Love,


Your Celeste..
P.S. You owe Artemis bird food...your owl has eaten all of it and I don't think Nero will be happy.


Celeste wiped her cheeks, laughing softly to herself and got out of bed, handing the owl the letter and patted its head. ''Take it back to Lilith..'' She whispered, the owl instantly flying off just as Artemis' crow, Nero landed on her shoulder as if complaining. She shooed the bird to its pedestal and crawled into bed with a smile on her face, waiting for the letter as she was now not tired.

Her owl came back earlier than Lilith expected. Taking the letter from her, she opened it smiling happily. Nothing could make this day even better, but letter from her best friend. Sitting down to the table, she took out a pen and decided to reply before she goes to sleep. It was weekend after all.

Hi sunshine,
I wish more than anything I could take you with me. I think you would like it here. I love it. I've never felt home somehwere before. Not as much as I do in here. My days are busy and in the evening, I am usually sound asleep before I know it. But it's better that way. I don't have time to think, I am too tired to dream, which means no nightmares. And there are no people to look at me as Kain's whore, or judge me for dating mudblood. Everything is so peaceful and easy here. I wish you could come with me. Maybe one day you can, who knows. But it's not my decision to make.


I know that Hogwarts aren't exactly safest place on Earth now. Or it may seem so. I almost ended up like Misha. I jumped and I got lucky to live. It opened my eyes. And I decided to let go of pain. To build something for myself. I wish Misha had the same luck. Because I can imagine how she felt on the edge of dying. I hope mister Salander and her little son are okay, though. Or at least as okay as they can possibly be. Suicide is selfish act. I know that now. You are leaving people behind, filling their lives with endless pain and guilt. But of course, when you are broken, you can hardly think that way. You just want to get the fuck out. And I did. And I live. And also, I am sorry for telling you about this now. Please don't kill that paper, it's innocent! You can give me hard time, one day, when I come back. )


Thanks for keeping eye on things for me. And thanks for not being mad, for waiting. If nothing else, you are worth coming back for. And when I do, we will have the best of times. I hope it's sooner, than later. But I know that it won't be unless I'm sure I can do it. Keep me posted about Hogwarts please,


Lilith


PS: Sending food, but cannot guarantee that she won't eat it on her way to you...


Lilith closed the envelope with a smile, putting it together with food on owl's leg. As she watched dark black bird disappear in the endless darkness of night in the mountains, she read the letter from her friend again. Realizing only now, that in her answer, Celeste will probably be able to see changes. Lilith never really cursed before. Neither she said mudblood. Even if in this case it was just a qutation. Lucian had strong influence on her. She knew it. But she rather witheld him from the letters. He would be big hint for Celeste. He was always guy who came and went. Nobody knew where, but they knew it probably wasn't anything nice and shiny. And she didn't want Cel to worry again. Because this time, she didn't need nice and shiny.

Celeste looked towards the window every time a flap of wings were heard and finally, the owl came back. Taking the letter happily, patting the bird to take the food only to see there was little bits left. ''Fatty..'' She mumbled and hid the rest of the food before jumping onto her bed to read the words that were now her lifeline.

Hey Lil,


I believe anywhere that can make a person feel so safe and happy is a place I'd love. Seems your days are like mine. In the day, classes and training take over and at night, I'm either still awake training or sleeping..and now, writing you. However, no one saw you as Kain's whore here. He just made you feel like that, sweetie but i understand. I'm always an owl away, Lil if you want me to find you..Always.


With the tournament and all these different people, It's a good idea you aren't here. It'd be far too much..It saddens me to know you contemplated suicide but I'm so happy you're alive...I don't know what I'd do if you were gone. I wish the same of Misha...Her son doesn't deserve such a loss or her father. Loosing his wife and child at the same time...I can't imagine that pain. Trust me, I will not harm the paper AND I'll think about giving you a hard. See if you deserve it or not.
About Robert..what are you going to do?


Don't thank me, Lilith. It's what friends are for. I'll keep an eye on everything. If you have any gossip about this place you're at, make sure to keep me in the loop! I promise to do the same. 
Just come home whenever you can...Missing you every second.


Celeste
P.S. You were right...Bird's a fatty!

Celeste chuckled to herself, tying the letter to the owl before looking around, grabbing a heart locket and waved her wand, placing a moving picture of Celeste and Lilith together. Wrapping it around the owl's neck, she kissed the bird on the forehead and smiled. ''Fly..'' She whispered and the owl took off. Leaning against the headrest, she re-read Lilith's letter taking in all the changes. Mudblood? She thought to herself and curled up with her pillow against her chest as it smelled like William.

As Lilith read yet another letter from her friend, she kept smiling just like the last time. It was nice to know that there was still somebody waiting for her. Of course except for her parents. And probably Robert. Thought of him Made Lilith feel slightly quilty. She didn't want to do this to him. Yet there was no regret for leaving. And that's what she felt guilty about. She should be missing him. She should be writting him and not Celeste. She should love him. After everything he did for her, after everything they've been through, he deserved that. But she couldn't find it in her. Maybe she was supposed to love him, but she never did. It was always Kain. Despite everything. That's why she was so broken in the first place. And then Lucian came. He saved her. And he turned her World upsite down. He finally made shadow named Kain go away.

Dearest Celeste,


you know better than anyone, that if I ever find myself in a mess, you are the first one I go to. And this distance won't change it. You are my best friend. My only friend, most likely. And I would hate to lose you. You don't judge me, you just stand by me. Even if in your opinion, I'm wrong. I always tried to do the same for you and I hope I did and I will keep doing my best. You asked me a question, in your last letter. And I'm afraid, my answer will be one of those you won't like. And I know you will tell me your opinion, but also that you will stay by my side. 


Truth is, I never really loved Robert. Not as much as I thought. Not as much as I should. I held onto him, because I felt like I can be myself with him. Truth is, that the longer we were together, the less I was myself. My life amongst snakes changed me way too much. And I couldn't let him see what I've become. He would abandon me. And I feared losing him. Not because I loved him, but because being lonely was the last thing I wanted in the World where I desired nothing but to be left alone. Paradox, huh? Yeah, I know.


I can imagine him looking for me, crying for me. I can imagine him freaking out. But I cannot bring myself to write him. I couldn't be honest. And I cannot bring myself to regret all of it. Leaving him in the dark and not at least saying goodbye. I feel guilty for it. I really do. But nothing else. This place, my new home, I realized many things here. Who I miss, who I wish misses me, who I want to be and what prize I am willing to pay. Therefore I leave this to you. You can tell him I'm dead. Or that I went away and forgot him. Or another story. Or you can tell nothing. But if you decide to speak to him, whatever you say, tell him to stop waiting. If I ever come back, I won't be the Lilith he knew, the girl he once loved. That girl died the night she jumped from that tower. Her sould shattered into million pieces, when she hit the sharp rock at the bottom of the lake. And it's best to leave it that way.


But back to the happier topics. As far as I am concerned, one of the best things about this place is absence of people. There are some, but not many. And we are all busy, so things such as gossip aren't really a thing here. But you have my word, if I hear something, you are the first to know. Now I have to go to bed, another early morning is ahead of me.


Lilith


As she sent another letter, Lilith kept thinking about Robert situation she owed him a lot. And yet, when she looked at the serpent poster on her wall, all she knew was that those are the debts she will never repay. She really was a snake in the end.