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Will I Ever Be Good Enough? (Remus)

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Post by Theodore Lupin Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:03 pm

Ted was still upset with the news, but he decided to listen to Deimos and Carina. They were his voices of reason after all. And so he sent an owl to his dad, knowing it might not reach him, he still waited in the Forbidden Forest, hoping he would come. Now that he thought of it, he didn't even know if their dad knew about Marcus being back in the land of living. He never knew what his dad thought of the golden Gaunt child. It made him wonder where this conversation was actually headed. He just hoped his dad won't confirm his biggest fear. His mom losing interrested in her adoptive sons now, that she had her precious Marcus back.
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Post by Remus Lupin Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:12 pm

Remus had received a letter from Mariya before the owl from his youngest arrived. He read his request to meet and suspected the topic, after making plans with Sirius to meet later he waited until nightfall to go to the forest. Being back in the forbidden forest brought back memories, though he tried to remain focused on the task at hand. He tracked the scent of his youngest child until he found him waiting, looking like he had alot on his mind. "Hello my boy"
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Post by Theodore Lupin Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:15 pm

Ted turned around to see his dad for the first time since the fight, where he got his arm broken. Yet another reminder of how useless he was, while his perfect older brother could do so much more at this age. "Hi dad," he replied, unsure what to do or how to even approach the situation. Was his dad still mad about that last time?
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Post by Remus Lupin Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:16 pm

Remus strode up to his son and pulled him into a tight hug, kissing the top of his head that was almost to his chin now, "your sister owled me" he said.
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Post by Theodore Lupin Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:18 pm

Theo reclutantly hugged him back, but at his words, he growled. "Of course she did," he said, when he broke the hug. So there it was, the topic he called his dad to begin with, yet he didn't even know how to start the conversation. What was he supposed to say? Marcus was his brother, he was supposed to be just as happy as everyone else was. But he wasn't.
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Post by Remus Lupin Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:20 pm

Remus sat down on a fallen tree, making himself comfortable. "And your best friend took the liberty of owling your sister some concerns she had. who in turned owled me." he grinned woflishly at his son, "The women in your life are something else."
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Post by Theodore Lupin Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:22 pm

The information cause Ted to growl yet again. "That they are for sure," he hissed, angry with Deimos for intruding with his personal affairs. But than again who else should do it of not her or Carina. "So I lashed out, shit happens," he said, leaning against the tree opposite to his father. "I know I should be happy he is alive and well, but..." he couldn't finish. He didn't really know how without sounding like a fool.
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Post by Remus Lupin Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:26 pm

Remus chuckled "You sound like your Aunt Marvolo" he said "When we were your age your mother was more like me, reserved to a fault. Marvolo was explosive, she expressed her rage just like you. " he pulled his son to sit by him and ruffled his hair. "Theodore, why do you think Morana adopted you?"
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Post by Theodore Lupin Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:28 pm

Theo wished he was like his aunt. He wished he could be. But there were no genes connecting them together and that was now more painfully obvious than ever. "I don't know, because she loves you and had no other choice?" he asked, unsure of what to say. He felt guilty right after. He hated accusing his mom of such thing. It never occured to him before, why now?
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Post by Remus Lupin Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:33 pm

Remus flicked his son in the nose "No, because she loved you. She loved you before I even said the L word to her. You were this beautiful baby who tugged on her hair and puked on her best dress and she fell in love. Morana is a cold heartless bitch to society but to the children she calls her own she loves them with every piece of her soul. She never cared that another woman brought you into the world, she claimed you as her own." he explained smiling fondly as he thought of the love of his life.

"Your a Gaunt because a gaunt chose you son. your a lupin because I sired you. We love you so much. and you are identical in action to your mother and her twin. She will be pleased as hell when she sees the man you have become. Just because Marcus, her oldest boy is back doesnt mean she will love you less."
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Post by Theodore Lupin Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:37 pm

"And who did I become exactly? I am a pathetic excuse for a Gaunt if, as you say, I am one. Look at what my sisters did at my age, what he did. How can mom be proud of me, when I am completely useless and can't even save her," he threw his hands in the air hopelessly before standing up and running fingers through his hair. He hated this. He hated not being good enough. He hated the feeling of not being good enough.
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Post by Remus Lupin Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:40 pm

"You are a boy" Remus admonished him "You are doing what your mother and I never had a chance to do. You are living, you are learning, you are being a teenager. We don't care about what the others did at this age. You are not your siblings and your siblings are not you. I am happy you can attend school, that its even safe for you to have my name for merlins sake. I am proud of you for being a good student, a normal teenager. Your still trainng like any other warrior in our family but your living. thats all we wanted for you."
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Post by Theodore Lupin Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:43 pm

"But I don't want to live like a teenager, dad! Not if it means mom is suffering somewhere and there is nothing I can do to help it," he said, frustrated. "I can't be there, as you so greatly showed me not so long ago. They all can. He can. I bet he will be the one to save us all. How can I ever compare to that? How can I ever be good enough?"
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Post by Remus Lupin Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:51 pm

Remus sighed, wishing for the millionth time his wife was with him to help them handle one of there children. "None of the children are coming with us in the rescue effort. And that doesn't mean anything, your mother would kill me on the spot if i sent you into danger before you were ready."
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Post by Theodore Lupin Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:57 pm

"I'd like to see you keeping Mariya or Soph or him away from saving mom. Besides, they can. They are good enough," Theo said bitterly, knowing it was the truth. His siblings knew how to handle themselves. And they were good at it too. "I mean, mom sent him on a deep undercover mission, she obviously knew he could handle himself. That's how good he is. I feel like nothing compared to him."
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Post by Remus Lupin Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:04 pm

"He's also over ten years older then you" he reminded him firmly "the girls are going because they have fought in this war, they have been trained since birth and they are some of the best we have. Your still in training, just like Sirius' kids."
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Post by Theodore Lupin Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:10 pm

"They are eleven, of course they stay behind," Ted pointed out, frustrated at the feeling that his dad did not understand what he was trying to say. "I guess at least I am not the one who will be least happy to see him. I mean, I bet uncle Sirius will top me," Ted chuckled, knowing the history of the two. Everyone in the family knew what happened. Theo could imagine how this family reunion was going to go.
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Post by Remus Lupin Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:13 pm

"Sirius never had warm feelings for Marcus, he understood his actions though. He accepts the fact he is my adopted son and he has grown past it. He married your aunt after all." Remus sighed "No one under the age of seventeen will aid in the rescue, that is final. Your time will come. until then you excell in school, practice fighting with deimos and your cousins. remember you are not just a lupin. you are a gaunt."
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Post by Theodore Lupin Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:22 pm

"And what exactly makes me a Gaunt, dad? My sisters have Marcus now. And there are million reasons why he is better than me. And mom? Who is to say I will be a Gaunt to her, when there is actual Gaunt to carry her legacy? That's the problem. I want to be a Gaunt. More, than anything. But I can't," he leaned against the tree again, feeling jealous. Of course he couldn't be mad at dad for this. He just wished his dad did not wait so long to be with mom. Maybe they would now all be Gaunts instead. Maybe he would stand a chance against his perfect older brother.
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Post by Remus Lupin Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:25 pm

"Teddy" he said using the childhood nickname with a sigh "Your sisters love you. Morana loves you. they dont compare you to anyone or anything. to them you are a gaunt. no matter what."
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Post by Theodore Lupin Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:27 pm

"To myself, I am not," he replied simply, trying to get his point across, without saying out loud that he was simply jealous. Because he knew he was. He was selfishly jealous.
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Post by Alaric Mulciber Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:33 pm

Will I Ever Be Good Enough? (Remus) Alec-lightwood-gif-shadowhunters-matthew-daddario-Favim.com-4502945

Marcus apparated to the edge of the forest and took his time walking to meet his adopted father and little brother. He wanted to give Remus time to calm the younger boy before they met, he understood why the boy was angry. He had felt the same once, not feeling good enough to barty next to his perfect twin and sophia.

Wearing his face for the second time in a week, he felt uncoordinated, uncomfortable. No longer used to being himself, but he didn't want to wear a disguise when he met his little brother again. As he came into the clearing Remus was the first to notice him, the wolf grinned and Marcus couldn't stop himself from smiling as well.

"Hey Dad" he said greeting the man with a hug "Welcome back to the land of the living" Remus said returning the hug before walking back to the fallen tree and relaxing onto it.

Marcus turned to the sixteen year old "Theodore Gaunt Lupin, its been far to long" he said shoving his hands in his pockets bit grinning at him.
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Post by Theodore Lupin Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:40 pm

Theo got startled at the sudden presence of a new person, interrupting their private conversation. He watched the stranger with familiar features hug his dad and speak before it clicked to him. He had never seen Marcus in person. Not since he was a child and he didn't remember much of it. The man if front of him was familiar to him only because of all the pictures he'd seen him on and also his striking resemblance to their mom. Yet another painful reminder of Marcus had and Ted never would.

Unsure how to react to entrance of his older brother, when he was not sure what Marcus heard, he felt not only jealous, but also like an idiot. What was he supposed to do now? "Hey," he said surprisingly low for someone, who was always heard. But it was better, than awkward silence, right?
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Post by Alaric Mulciber Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:50 pm

Will I Ever Be Good Enough? (Remus) Alec-lightwood-gif-shadowhunters-matthew-daddario-Favim.com-4502945

Marcus leaned against a tree as he thought of what to say, "My dad, not Remus here, but my birth father Barty. Was an incredible man, but also the sort of man you couldn't please" he began "Mariya and Sophia were his princesses, they did everything right, they made him so happy and proud. But me?" he looked at the boy "I was never enough. He told me i was nothing, worthless, he made me beleive it too. He only showed pride in me maybe twice and yet i still loved him. Mum has always been good to me, she didn't understand why barty was so cruel to me. I thought thats how a father acts, so when Remus came into our lives i expected the same treatment, but he was good to me. even when i was just a kid in his class" he shot a smile at the wolf as he watched with a sad smile "I'm proud to call him my dad now, because he taught me what to do. how to be a son. But first i was a student, a lonely child with no one when my sister was off with Malphas and my other sistr was busy in wolfclaw being the party queen. What i'm trying to say theo..is i know how you feel. Because your not in this war yet, your not a solider and no one forced you to be one. And i know you want to be one, i was the same way."

he pushed his hair out of his eyes "But your a gaunt and your brother, for better or worse. I wasn't a special kid, i was just lonely and angry. I wasn't perfect, my grades were awful. But as soon as my teenage years began the war snatched it all away, sometimes i wish i was a kid so i could forget whats happening. But i'm not and i am who i am because o the world and the people who made me. You have so much potential so much power, your grades are incredible and from what i hear you are very loved. We are family though, Mum doesn't love me more then you and vice versa. I want to be your brother, your friend, i'll do what i can to help you so when you join this fight your ready."
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Post by Theodore Lupin Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:04 pm

"You were always perfect to mom," Theo replied simply. "And to our sisters. It was always you. Like there is nothing you could do wrong. I swear they worship the ground you walk on," he said. He knew it might have to do with Marcus being the one who avenged his father's death. But he did not want to say this out loud. He knew the first wife of uncle Sirius was not a topic for casual discussion.
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