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Many Regrets (Morana)

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Post by Remus Lupin Mon Jan 23, 2017 2:28 am

Remus stood at the door to the house he knew his friend was hiding in, a bottle of fine wine in hand. It was Sophia's birthday and his heart hurt, the curse had only been in effect for two years but he felt himself starting to give up hope of ever seeing his children or Morana's again. Raising a fist he knocked twice then said softly for her vampiric ears to hear "Its me."
Remus Lupin
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Post by Morana Gaunt Mon Jan 23, 2017 4:32 am

Morana came home after yet another emotionally exhausting day. It's been harder and harder to live like this and not showing how much pain she was in, constantly missing her children and her sister. It didn't make it any better to come home and seeing framed picture of Sophia with her siblings on the day she turned eleven. Feeling sudden wave of hurt, anger and sorrow, Morana used the little sense, she had left after the long day, to cast silencio on the house, before letting go of her rage. Magic exploded from her veins, practically trashing the place as she screamed and cried. After what seemed like ages, when all the rage and pain left her body, leaving her only with sorrow so intense, she thought she would break, she fell on her knees, sobbing silently, just like she used to back, when she was just a child, tortured and misunderstood, put away in the muggle orphanage.

About an hour later, she was lying on the floor, staring into the ceiling, completely numb. Small cuts and bruises that covered her body when she managed to nearly tear the house apart, were long gone, leaving only bloody stains on her dress as a proof. Lying in on the floor, amongst pieces of glass and wood from the things that were now broken, she just didn't care, for in the morning, she had to get up again and fight again to survive the day and protect her only hope for better future. 

It was then, that she heard a knock on her door and a soft voice of the only person, that kept her going for the past two years. Remus was back with her, forgave her for what she had done and became the only light she could see in this neverending darkness. She could only guess why he was here. Blinking twice, the pain and sadness in her eyes was instantly gone and with a flick of her wand, she erased all the traces of her previous outburst, including the blood on her clothes. Looking clean again and with house as new, she undid the silencio and went to open the door for him. "Hey," she gave him a tired smile, opening the door wide for him to enter. "What brings you to my doorstep today?" she asked as she closed the door, though she alredy knew the answer. Sophia's birthday was today. She should be 18. But she wasn't. And she may never get a chance to be.
Morana Gaunt
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Post by Remus Lupin Mon Jan 23, 2017 4:40 pm

"You know why" he said smiling at her weakly he kissed her cheek and walked into the house. Grabbing glasses from the kitchen he said "I got your favorite, and added just the right amount of blood to make it extra tasty." he tried to sound light hearted flicking his wrist at the hearth in the living room as he brough the cups and the blood wine into the room. The hearth filled with fire and opened the bottle to pour them both a drink.
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Post by Morana Gaunt Mon Jan 23, 2017 5:01 pm

"You spoil me, mister!" Morana teased him, excited about the alcohol. She hoped it would help to numb the pain she felt. But she couldn't really get drunk. Drunk people talk and that was not in her intention. "Thanks for coming," she whispered to him as she hugged him all of sudden. His closeness was what she needed even more, than alcohol.
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Post by Remus Lupin Mon Jan 23, 2017 5:16 pm

He hugged her tightly holding her close before folding his large form to sit on the couch. He handed her a glass and held out his arm to welcome her to his side. As she sat with him he raised his glass "here's to you Sophia..Happy birthday" he tipped the glass back and drank it in one go. He blinked hard trying to hide the tears that threatened to gather.
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Post by Morana Gaunt Mon Jan 23, 2017 5:41 pm

Sitting next to him, she raised her glass with a sad smile as she watched him drain his own. She took a small sip, her eyes still on him. She wanted to ask if he was okay, but knew it was pointless. He wasn't okay. Neither of them were. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked in a mere whisper. This was their reality. Even if the kids ever do get out of that damn curse, they will have them back for what seems like a short time, before age takes them away again. They were immortal. Forever stuck here, forced to bear every loss like a scar or an open wound.
Morana Gaunt
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Post by Remus Lupin Mon Jan 23, 2017 7:26 pm

"I was terrible to her" he said staring into the fire "to sophie. I was so angry and sad and...she'll never know how much i loved her. How she slept on my chest as a newborn...I let my anger at you take over..I missed it all. missed seeing her grow and now..." a tear rolled down his cheek and he stared into the fire his jaw tight. 'I was terrible to them all. our children should have grown up as friends not rivals. I should have known better." he couldn't look at her, his heart throbbed with agony with his heart full to the brim with pained regrets.
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Post by Morana Gaunt Mon Jan 23, 2017 7:30 pm

She let him speak before her cold fingers gently pushed his chin to face her. "Remus John Lupin, don't you dare blame yourself for mistakes I made. I sent you away. It nearly torn me apart doing so and it was foolish, for I needed you then and I need you now and I will always need you. And our children will come back to us. They have to," she told him, her voice allowing no arguments. He was too hard on himself.
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Post by Remus Lupin Mon Jan 23, 2017 7:34 pm

His tortured eyes fell on hers but he shook his head, "Do you know what i called her when she was born? She was my little diamond. She came into the world, rough and screaming but i knew she would be beautiful and grow into someone so strong no one could break her." He poured another drink and nursed it "You tried, in your way. but i sent her away, i sent you away. I wouldn't take her. I didn't know what to do. i wish you had told me you had her...i mourned her till the day you told me who she was. I left you alone. i should have pushed you to let me in.." his cheeks were wet his pain written on his every feature.
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Post by Morana Gaunt Mon Jan 23, 2017 7:40 pm

Morana sighed and looked to the floor for a long second. "I wanted to. I wanted to go to you. You have no idea. But I couldn't. Morgan was what stopped me everytime. You see, Severus knew. All the time. Because I knew he wouldn't do something stupid like trying to take her away. I knew you wouldn't either. But you would tell Morgan. And she would just be my downfall," Morana admitted why she did what she did. Of course she took Sophia for her own selfish reasons. But later the girl was like her own child. She couldn't imagine losing her, not only because of her diabolical plan, that never came to happen anyway, but also because she was her child. And Morana loved her as such.
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Post by Remus Lupin Mon Jan 23, 2017 7:44 pm

At the mention of his dead wife his jaw tightened even further. "She wouldn't have understood why i would have left her with you." he said softly "she never understood."
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Post by Morana Gaunt Mon Jan 23, 2017 7:49 pm

"No, she wouldn't. For someone, who spent most of her school years balancing both sides of the baricade, she saw only black and white in the end," Morana sighed, grabbing his hand and squeezing tight.
Morana Gaunt
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Post by Remus Lupin Mon Jan 23, 2017 7:52 pm

Putting his glass down he leaned against her, "I'm so sorry Morana" he said his voice husky with pain and sadness "For everything, every word, action. I'm so sorry."
Remus Lupin
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Post by Morana Gaunt Mon Jan 23, 2017 7:55 pm

Looking at him, she shaked her head slightly in amusement before she swung one leg over him, climbing into his lap, so she could properly hold his face. "You have nothing to apologize for. I made mistakes, not you. I am just happy that you came back to me," she told him, staring into his eyes, telling him silently how much it meant to her that he was right there with her.
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Post by Remus Lupin Mon Jan 23, 2017 7:57 pm

"I'll always come back to you" he whispered staring into her eyes, his eyes flicked down her lips then back to her eyes. "I will always find you."
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Post by Morana Gaunt Mon Jan 23, 2017 8:00 pm

"I guess that's how we monsters are. We always find a way back to each other in the end," she said, her face inching closer to his with ever word. She wasn't sure what she was doing, but he wasn't stopping her, yet.
Morana Gaunt
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Post by Remus Lupin Mon Jan 23, 2017 8:08 pm

Remus noticed her slight movement, the scent she gave off as her mind seemed to follow his. His mind asked him fifty different questions, but he knew what he wanted. "I love you" he said letting one of his large rough hands lay along her jaw, "I've always loved you." dipping down he kissed her softly, deepening the kiss slowly but giving her time to break it off, to push him away.
Remus Lupin
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Post by Morana Gaunt Mon Jan 23, 2017 8:11 pm

His confession stunned her temporarily. "Remus," she whispered before he connected their lips in gentle kiss. SHe could tell he was holding back, waiting if she pushes him away, but she didn't. Her mind was full of questions as she deepened the kiss, showing him that she was not going anywhere.
Morana Gaunt
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Post by Remus Lupin Mon Jan 23, 2017 8:15 pm

Pressing her into the couch he kissed her deeply, a hand rising to hair to pull the clip that held it back out so he could run his fingers through the curly mane. He broke the kiss and looked down at her with so much love and smiled.
Remus Lupin
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Post by Morana Gaunt Mon Jan 23, 2017 8:23 pm

She returned his kiss with passion, and stared into his eyes as they broke apart, still in shock over what was happening and how right it felt. "What did you mean that you always loved me?" she asked finally, question she wanted to know the answer for.
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Post by Remus Lupin Mon Jan 23, 2017 8:27 pm

He ran a finger over her lips his eyes not holding hers. "the first time i realized I was in love with you, was in my sixth year. You found me after James and I had a fight... he called me a monster and I was upset...you told me how to own it, to lay claim to the word monster. You chose to see me as a man, not a beast who needs to be leashed. You always were honest and genuine, from the moment i recognized I loved you, i only loved you more...even when we were on opposite sides..it didn't go away."
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Post by Morana Gaunt Mon Jan 23, 2017 8:30 pm

"But you called me sister. You led me down the aisle to Barty. Oh Salazar, I must have hurt you so much," she whispered, shocked by his statement. "I am so sorry, Remus," she told him. She couldn't imagine watching someone you love marry someone else. She couldn't imagine going on with her life. No wonder her cause her hell. She would do so as well.
Morana Gaunt
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Post by Remus Lupin Mon Jan 23, 2017 8:33 pm

She chuckled and pressed a kiss to her brow "I learned to love you enough to let you go. It hurt but your happiness meant more to me.." he nuzzled her jaw and kissed her softly "Barty knew...he figured it out... crazy bastard said he respected me because i never acted on how i felt while you were his. But of course i couldn't i could never. You were happy thats all i wanted."
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Post by Morana Gaunt Mon Jan 23, 2017 8:38 pm

"I don't deserve you," she whispered in awe, grabbing his face, she brought his lips to hers in rough kiss. He loved her. And he waited for her for two decades, not knowing if he would ever get a chance. Yet here and now, something that Morana never really thought of before, felt so right, like it was always meant to be. Barty was her first love. And kissing him was never wrong. But Remus, here and now, Morana knew that he was the love of her life. The missing piece of puzzle.
Morana Gaunt
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Post by Remus Lupin Mon Jan 23, 2017 8:39 pm

He chuckled and leaned into her kiss his fingers tangling in her hair lovingly. He picked her up and pulled her onto his lap, his heart soaring at finally having her here like this.
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